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Muslim Role Models

By | Muslim Podcast | No Comments

 

We all have Muslim role models in our life. There are many Muslim celebs, it’s easy to just follow them without thinking. So what makes a good female Muslim role model? In this episode of A Muslim Mom Podcast I explore, where do we get our role models from?

Listen to the episode here 

Stereotypically, people tend to believe that the women of Islam are oppressed. That women are taught to be quiet and listen to the men of the religion, when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Often times the people who believe this are ones who have not taken the time to look at the history of Islam, and see the major role women have played. So, here’s a list of 5 Muslim role models who play a major role in the history of Islam to get you started.

Fatimah

Fatimah is the daughter of Khadijah and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), and the only daughter to live past both their deaths. Due to prosecution, she grew up extremely fast, and was only ten years old when she helped clean her father of waste that had been dumped on him by a Quraishi man. She cleaned off her father, and then prayed against the man who had done this to him. She also aided her father after he was driven out of Ta’if and pelted with stones and bled to the point his shoes were filled to the brim with blood. Fatimah cleaned his wounds and once again prayed for the people who had done this to him. Throughout her life she fed the poor, even if it meant she could not eat, and her kind character earned her the title of “the pure one.”

 

Maryam

Maryam (Mary) was one of the people that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said perfected her faith and was assured a place in Paradise. She is the mother of Jesus (PBUH), but that is not the reason I have included her on this list. She played such a major role in Islam, there is a whole surah of the Quran named after her. As a virgin mother, and while she was pregnant, she left her village and gave birth in the desert on her own.

When she returned the people met her with accusations of sin. Maryam was a follower of Islam so the people could not believe that when she returned, she did so with a child. The accusations were only silenced when Jesus (still a newborn at the time) spoke up and cleared her name. Maryam’s devotion and strength shows women in Islam that if they are true to what they believe they can make it through anything.

 

Zainab b. ‘Ali

Zainab stood in front of the people of Kufa who had betrayed the Imam in Karbala. Zainab was known for her virtuous life, her character had all the best attributes. Zainab stood and gave a sermon in front of Yazid (leader who was against Islam and Imam) with bravery and confidence that shook the people who were gathered. Zainab said,

 

“By Allah, you cannot remove us from the minds (of people), and you cannot fade our message. You will never reach our glory and can never wash the stain of this crime from your hands. Your decisions will not be stable, your period of ruling will be short, and your population will scatter. In that day, a voice will shout: ‘Indeed may the curse of Allah be upon the oppressors […]’”

 

Zainab was a force against oppression and injustice; she was a woman of patience. Zainab had the greatest endurance from delivering a powerful sermon in front of Yazid and his gathering to awakening the ignorant and showing them the message of Islam. She saw the martyrdom of her loved ones before her very eyes, yet she never question her submission to Allah, and that was monumental. Zainab showed how BOLD Muslim women were (and still are), and how important they were (and still are) to Islam.

Zainab is the embodiment of a strong, powerful, and independent woman. She is someone all Muslims, men and woman, look up to and admire. Her strength and powerfulness was unbelievable and she demonstrates what it truly means to be a Muslim woman.

 

Hajar

This is the wife of Abraham, who was instructed by God to leave Hajar and her newborn son in the middle of the desert. When told by Abraham that he was commanded by God to leave her, she said “I am satisfied to be with God.” So as the days went by Hajar and her son baked away in the heat of the desert, and finally their food and water ran out. Hajar left her child by a tree and began her search for water; she climbed the hills of Safa and Marwah. Her journey that she completed seven times would have taken hours and hours, and when she returned she found an angel by her son. The angel dug a hole in the ground and there in its place a flow of water appeared, Hajar created a settlement around the water source, which still flows to this day.

From this water source, the city of Mecca had its beginnings. The water from that source is referred to as Zamzam, which is holy water that Muslims drink in hopes of their prayers coming true. Muslims commemorate Hajar’s journey when they attend Hajj every year.  (Fun Fact about the water source referred to in this story, the water level never falls and to this day it has never decreased. No matter how much water is taken out it remains at the same level.)

 

Asiyah

Asiyah was the wife of a baby killing sociopathic Pharaoh. When Moses was placed in a basket and drifted down the river it was Asiyah that found him and fell in love with the child. She convinced her husband to let her keep the child, and raise him. When the child grew up he became Prophet Moses (PBUH), and he preached the message of God. The Pharaoh however, was convinced he, himself, was God and demanded the people worship him. Asiyah however, believed in the God Moses spoke about, and so she joined the religion of Islam keeping her faith a secret from her husband at first but eventually exposing it to him.

When the Pharaoh found out about this he commanded her to be tortured, but through it all Asiyah stood tall and firm in her belief of the God Moses spoke about. Eventually, she succumbed to the torture in died, but she never once wavered from the path of Islam.

 

So there you have it. Perhaps Muslim Women were among the first to truly show that they don’t need a man to achieve greatness or provide for them; they can do it themselves. And that my friends, is the Islam I believe in. So, I will leave you with this, if the women of Islam are oppressed, then why are we the ones who signify the religion so clearly. For when a woman wears hijab, you know instantly her faith, whereas you may question a male. Women are the flags of Islam, and it is only when we stand tall that the religion is whole.

Hajj Gift Guide

By | What is Hajj? | No Comments

 

Do you know someone who is going Hajj this year? Or are you looking for some Muslim children’s books to teach your kids about the meaning of Hajj? To save you time scouring the net for Hajj gifts, Hajj decorations and Hajj books, I’ve compiled the ultimate Hajj Gift Guide just for you! So, let’s begin.

Hajj Mubarak Free Printables

 

 

So, if your’e a teacher, muslim homeschooler or Muslim parent who wants to explain, what Hajj is all about you will absolutely love these free Hajj Mubarak resources. They have been created and generously shared by some amazing Muslim bloggers, inshallah please remember them (and me!) in your duas and leave a comment to show you appreciation. I know they would love it if you subscribe to their newsletter, that way you can find out about the other freebies they are giving away. So you never miss a post on my blog post you can subscribe to my VIP Club here

Hajj Notebook

 

 

Beautiful quality premium notebook with 36 plain pages. Designed by the talented Fehmida from Ink & Ocean. Illustrated with a picture of the Kaaba. Perfect for journaling, jotting down notes and lists that you may need for Hajj. Makes a lovely little gift too. Cover is printed with vegetable soya inks on to premium 350gsm FSC recycled paper. Inside there are 36 plain pages, made from 90gsm uncoated recycled paper.

Hajj bag

 

Eastpak best selling cross body bag in black fabric: Designed to keep your essential documents organised with multiple pockets. Available in various sizes. Has great reviews on Amazon.

Hajj Journal

The Dua Journal is a special journal tailored for the spiritual Muslim! It is inspired by the need to maximize your supplications by recording your duas for each aspect of your life and for every special person. For Hajj it is perfect for writing your daily reflections. You can write your dua each day as a way to record your supplications and remember them for future supplications.

Hajj Guide Book

I used this book when I performed Hajj. Hajj & Umrah made Easy A step by , practical , unique and complete guide to Hajj & Umrah, which includes: NEW Arabic transliteration of duas. World’s 1st Adjustable Travel Cord. Wire bound flip format. Easily held in one hand Splash proof pages Field tested designs Easy to understand Positive instructions Easy to read Arabic. Safety tips. Health tips. Travel information and Duas. Updated Arabic- English phrases Fully cross referenced Hajj Ministry procedures explained. Unique diagrams. Makkah map. Colour coded pages. According to the Qur’an and Sunnah.

Comfortable Hajj Flip flops

 

 

I cannot over emphasise the importance of wearing comfortable sensible shoes when you go to Hajj, do not skimp on this, you will not regret spending more money on these Sketchers flip flops. You can easily slip them into your bag when you go into pray.

Kid’s Hajj play set

 

Hajj play set a perfect gift for Eid or any other occasion. This soft toy play set includes, two dolls wearing ihram, two mountains (safa and marwa), a camel, one Kaaba and a palm tree. A wonderful role play doll set which will encourages your child to learn about hajj. Washing instructions: hand wash or surface sponge wash separately. CE certified and Fair trade certified.

Kabah Keyring

A 7cm plush Ka’bah keyring – Press the door of the Ka’bah and here the Talbiyah  (Labayk Allahumma Labayk…)
Brand new from The Desi Doll Company, launching September 2019.

Hajj Books for Kids

 

 

The wonders of Hajj adapted and defined for your little ones. I am Hajj is a poem picture book to encourage the love and understanding the rituals and practices of Hajj. A book for Muslims and all other faiths to enjoy. It’s independently published by Safoo Publications, a children’s publishing house with a team of creatives whose main mission is to encourage knowledge, awareness & kindness with all. Safoo’s ethos is to be just & capture the truth about what faith is all about and to entertain, educate & inspire readers from all faiths, for generations. So please support their amazing work.

 

‘My Hajj and Eid-ul-Adha Book’  by Sajida Fazal is fun, educational and useful with over 20 facts and colouring pages that teach kids the recitals, stages and significance of the Muslim pilgrimage (Hajj) and its festivities (Eid-ul-Adha).

The simple usage of language and the colouring pages make the book ideal for ages 5-10, but can also be useful for ages above. This Islamic children’s book has been deliberately put together by a well experienced children’s author to ensure all age appropriate information about Hajj and Eid ul Adha has been included in it.The colouring pages make the book a fun learning experience for children–the kids can have fun while they learn something about an important pillar of Islam.

 

Hajj Mubarak Mugs

 

Hajj Mubarak Mug, a perfect Hajj gift! beautiful Eid gift for Hajjis, returning home from Hajj. Unique designer Hajj mug by Farhat Amin. You will receive 1 white 11 oz mug, the text reads Hajj Mubarak. The design is permanently printed on both sides of the mug.

 

Hajj Mubarak Cake

 

Turn your simple cake into a lovely Hajj Mubarak cake with our 8 inches/20 cm Hajj Mubarak cake topper. Printed onto edible rice paper using edible ink. Our Hajj Mubarak cake topper is very easy to use, much easier than a Hajj Mubarak cake stencil, all you need to do is either bake or buy a 20cm cake and place the cake topper on top. You can use some cream or butter cream to make the hajj cake topper stick to the cake. So it’s a quick and easy Hajj Mubarak cake decoration!

If you have a loved one returning from Hajj then you may want to have a look at our luxury range of Hajj Mubarak Decorations. From Hajj Mubarak cards, Hajj Mubarak balloons to Hajj Mubarak gifts. Farhat Amin’s Luxury Hajj Collection has everything you need to make the Hajj party you’re throwing everything you want it to be! Inshallah enjoy browsing through our gorgeous, sparkling, gold, Luxury Hajj Collection.

Hajj Cards

This elegant gold foil Hajj Mubarak card comes with a matching gold envelopeThe card is blank inside so you can write your own personal message. Card dimensions are 15cm x15cm.

Inshallah I hope my guide saves you time and if you know of any other useful Hajj items please leave a comment below and let me know, I love hearing from you!

The blessings of Aqiqah

By | Muslim Parenting | No Comments

aqiqahWhat is Aqiqah?

‘Aqiqah is a means of expressing gratitude to God. The birth of a child, male or female, is a cause for great celebration. In Islam, certain etiquettes and rituals from the authentic traditions of Prophet Muhammad (saw) are recommended as a family welcomes a newborn child to the world. These include: choosing a pleasant name for the newborn. Reciting the Adhan (call to prayer) in the baby’s right ear and iqamah in the left ear. Tahnik (inserting something sweet such as dates or honey into the baby’s mouth), shaving the newborn’s head and doing ‘aqiqah.

Narrated Salman bin ‘Amir Ad-Dabbi: I heard Allah’s Apostle saying, “‘Aqiqa is to be offered for a (newly born) boy, so slaughter (an animal) for him, and relieve him of his suffering.”. It has been quoted in Fateh-AL-Bari that the majority of the religious scholars agrees to the Hadith narrated in Sahih At-Tirmidi that the Prophet was asked about aqiqah and he ordered 2 sheep for a boy and one sheep for a girl and that is his Sunnah.

muslim baby shower

When should the Aqeeqah be performed?

Traditionally, the aqiqah is held on the seventh day after the child’s birth, but it may also be postponed until later (often the 7th, 14th, or 21st day after birth). If one cannot afford the expense at the time of the child’s birth, it may even be postponed longer, as long as it is done prior to the child reaching puberty.

What is the purpose of the Aqeeqah?

The performance of Aqiqah is highly encouraged. It is to be performed by the parents or the guardians of the child. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and his companions used to perform Aqiqah when they were bestowed with a newborn. There are many benefits in the performance of Aqiqah. One is the announcing the birth of the baby. Being bestowed a child is a great blessing from the Creator. Another purpose is inviting family members, neighbours, and friends to celebrate the blessed occasion. The poor should be included in the celebration by offering them food and meat served on this occasion.

aqeeqahThe Aqiqah Meal

Muslim parents often host the aqiqah at their home or a community center. The aqiqah is an optional dinner event designed to celebrate the child’s birth and welcome him or her to the community. There is no religious consequence for not holding an aqiqah; it is a “sunnah” tradition but is not required.

The aqiqah is always hosted by the parents or extended family of the newborn child. In order to provide a community meal, the family slaughters one or two sheep or goats. This sacrifice is considered the defining part of the aqiqah. While sheep or goats are the most common sacrificial animals, in some regions, cows or camels may also be sacrificed. There are precise conditions attached to the sacrificial slaughter: the animal must be healthy and free of defects, and the slaughter must be done humanely.   One-third of the meat is given away to the poor as charity, and the rest is served in a large community meal with relatives, friends, and neighbours. Many guests bring gifts for the new baby and the parents, such as clothing, toys or baby furniture.  (Learning Religions)

Muslim baby shower

Aqiqah Party 

Few celebrations are happier than a new baby party. The parents-to-be are both excited and a little nervous about the future. Grandparents who know what’s coming can’t wait for the big day. Whilst guests are simply happy to share in the joy. From aqeeqah decorations to Muslim baby cards. Baby balloons to baby banners. Our Muslim Baby Shower collection has everything you need to make the aqiqah party you’re throwing everything you want it to be! Inshallah have fun browsing through our gorgeous, sparkling, pastel, Aqiqah Party decorations.

Hajj Mubarak Free Printables

By | What is Hajj? | No Comments

So, I have compiled a list of Hajj Mubarak free printables just for you. Inshallah they will help you teach your kids all about Hajj. As we try to do our very best to take advantage of the blessed days of Dhul-Hijjah it’s also important to either start or continue teaching our little ones about this amazing time of year for Muslims.

What is the Hajj Pilgrimage?

Every year, millions of Muslims travel from around the world to Saudi Arabia to complete the Hajj pilgrimage in the holy city of Mecca. The journey is seen as one of the five pillars of Islam, central to the faith. Pilgrims spend five days praying – both in Mecca and the surrounding desert. It is a spiritual pilgrimage that every adult Muslim must perform at least once in their lives if they can afford it and are physically able. In order to be closer to Allah, they wear simple clothes, aren’t allowed to argue and perform rituals such as throwing stones at pillars to symbolise rejecting evil.

Hajj Mubarak Free Printables

There will be over 3 and a half million Muslims visiting Makkah during Hajj and even though many of us will not be able to go, we still have many opportunities to benefit. With this list of free hajj worksheets, hajj books and hajj activities for kids ages, it will make teaching them about Hajj/Eid-ul -Adha fun and easy.

 

Muslim Mommy What is the Hajj Book

The month of Dhul Hijjah is a special month because it is the month of the Hajj. Children will learn all about this special pilgrimage to Makkah and includes a quiz section to test their knowledge after learning. This is an ebook in PDF format available for Muslimommy subscribers for free with a coupon code.

 

MyDeen Magazine FREE Hajj Printables

At MyDeen children’s magazine, the theme of their September 2017 edition revolved around the 10 days of Dhul-Hijja, Hajj and Eid-ul-Adha. They wanted to share some of the pages from their magazines so that you and your kids can benefit. They include detailed lessons, fun crafts and many activities.

Ink & Ocean: Going To Hajj Free Printable

Instantly download your, free going to hajj role play printable including hajj terminal signs and hajj road signs. Perfect for pretend play activities. Just click on the image for the free PDF.

 

Hajj Activity Book for Little Kids

A thoughtfully designed free Hajj printable book written by Jameela Ho from Ilma Education

 

Hajj Mubarak Decorations

If you have a loved one returning from Hajj then you may want to have a look at our luxury range of Hajj Mubarak Decorations. From Hajj Mubarak cards, Hajj Mubarak balloons to Hajj Mubarak gifts. Farhat Amin’s Luxury Hajj Collection has everything you need to make the Hajj party you’re throwing everything you want it to be! Inshallah enjoy browsing through our gorgeous, sparkling, gold, Luxury Hajj Collection.

Prom Night – Is it really OK for Muslims to go to the Prom?

By | Muslim Parenting | 8 Comments

For some Muslims, prom night and dating are complicated topics — there is  dancing between genders, the implication of alcohol and sex, and revealing dresses. For others, it’s not so big of a deal. What’s your view? I want to take a deeper look at the whole issue and what effect, going to “The Prom” has on our kids education and their Islam.

The Prom Distraction

Is your child having a stressful final year at high school? Working hard? Spending hours researching subjects. It seems like they’ve got their priorities straight and you should be very pleased with them. But what if, they aren’t trawling through quadratic equations or researching genetic engineering and rather they’re agonising over what prom dress/suit to buy or spending hours on Pinterest looking at hairstyles. Are you OK with that? As a high school teacher and Muslim parent I am livid about it!

Why are our kids, who will be sitting their GCSEs this year, dedicating so much time and energy to a frivolous party? Unfortunately, our children have been duped into thinking prom is this magical evening- the night when geeks become beauty queens and 16-year-old girls feel like Kylie Jenner sauntering down the red carpet with all eyes on them! That’s how the movies tell it to them. Unheard of in Britain 15 years ago, the prom is now the glamorous ‘highlight’ of the year for thousands of school-leavers. Over the top ‘passing out’ celebrations for Year 11 students (aged 15-16) and Year 13 (aged 17-18) have become the norm causing an untold amount of anxiety to students and financial difficulty for parents. More than 85% of schools in Britain now hold school proms, which range from boat parties to tailor made extravaganzas!

The Average cost of Prom Night

is it allowed for muslims to go to the prom

Naïve teens get enveloped in this extravagant fantasy, and for the sake of their kid’s happiness, gullible parents are quite happy to pay for it. The cost of one night of prom ‘fun’ are shocking. A recent Visa survey showed that in 2015 the average American family spent $919 per attendee on prom night Promaholics.com, a site devoted to “all things prom,” states, “Choosing a dress for prom is up there with choosing a wedding dress.”. According to Go-Compare the average cost for a UK parent in 2015 was £190 – up 23% from 2013.

Typically, at my daughter’s school, girls (I mean their parents) are splashing out £150 on a dress, £120 each to share a 5 seater limousine, £35 on makeup and a thrifty £30 on shoes! No wonder the UK high school prom industry is now worth a cool £90m a year. Ever more extravagant proms create a cycle of teenagers continuously trying to outdo each other, making the evenings more and more expensive. Personally, I refuse to be pestered into paying £120 an hour for a limousine that I won’t get the pleasure of sitting in myself.

The Prom Fantasy

muslim promThe allure and characteristic red carpet look -long frocks and limousines- that are synonymous with proms comes not only from a lifelong diet of banal Hollywood teen movies and soaps, but also from a money-oriented world where schoolgirls/schoolboys measure themselves against film stars and football players. Proms, are an incitement to celebrity-fantasy they disingenuously give our kids the chance to be a movie star for the evening. However, I don’t want my teenage daughter to aspire to being a superficial, self-absorbed, celeb! Do you?

As we know, exam stress is a necessary evil; prom stress is a headache that our kids should not have to deal with. As I mentioned I’m a high school teacher, GCSEs have now become more difficult to pass so naturally students need to focus more time and energy, studying. Therefore, it makes no sense for schools to encourage students to waste, yes waste, their lunchtimes organising bake sales for their prom.

It’s no wonder that UK students are stuck in educational doldrums, according to the influential PISA report. The Programme for International Student Assessment (PISA) is undertaken once every three years and tests 15-year-olds’ abilities in the core academic disciplines of reading, maths and science. Launched in 2000, around 540,000 students from 72 countries took part in PISA in 2015. The UK results were abysmal: Science 15th place, Reading, 21st and Maths 27th. Do you think the parents of high school students in Singapore, China or Finland (these countries were in the top 10 rankings) would let their kids squander their time a few months before their GCSE exams?

Is Prom allowed in Islam?

You may have guessed that my daughter will not be going to her school prom – her older brother didn’t go either. And it’s not because I’m a penny pinching, kill joy. Having taken the time to study the ayah and hadith relating to socialising in Islam. I can’t find any Islamic evidence to say teenagers (who no longer see themselves as ‘school kids’), can go to a mixed party, looking absolutely gorgeous (with or without hijab) where couples will be dancing, flirting and kissing. Every Muslim know that having a girlfriend or boyfriend or prom date, (even just for one night) is haram.

As we all know Islam is a way of life and therefore it has comprehensive social laws that regulate the relationship between men and women, which aim to direct and restrict the fulfilment of desires to marriage alone. These social rules also include the Islamic dress code, the prohibition of an unrelated man and woman being alone together, as well as the prohibition of the free-mixing of the genders and intimate relationships outside marriage. These laws have a tangible, positive outcome upon society of protecting the family unit and the rights of children, as well as ensuring healthy interaction between men and women that is productive and not cheapened nor hindered by romantic distractions.

Are mixed school dances allowed in Islam?

When the Prophet (saw) saw men and women mingling when they were leaving the mosque, he ordered them to separate and even made different entrances for the genders in the mosque to ensure separation. He (saw) also organised separate classes to teach men and women about Islam. For the prayers, the Messenger (saw) arranged the men and women into separate lines and the women would leave the mosque before the men in order to prevent their mixing.

Umm Salamah, the wife of the Prophet (saw) narrated, “Whenever Allah’s Apostle completed the prayer with Taslim, the women used to get up immediately and Allah’s Apostle would remain at his place and so would the men who prayed with him.” [Reported by Al-Bukhari].

These evidences establish the general norm in Islam is that men and women are obliged to be separate but there are clear exceptions prescribed by the Qur’an and Sunnah of where they are permitted to meet and interact for a clearly defined purpose – for example in education, seeking of medical care, trade, accounting the ruler, raising their political opinions within society, and so on. Hence, gender separation is a well-known and important Islamic tradition that is part of everyday life within Muslim communities, practiced in mosques, Islamic weddings, Muslim schools, and homes.

Advice for Muslim Parents regarding Prom Night

As parents we have to take our responsibilities seriously. Abdullah bin ‘Umar narrated:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) as saying: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The amir (ruler) who is over the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock; a man is a shepherd in charge of the inhabitants of his household and he is responsible for his flock; a woman is a shepherdess in charge of her husband’s house and children and she is responsible for them; and a man’s slave is a shepherd in charge of his master’s property and he is responsible for it. So each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock.”

 

In addition, Allah (swt) says: “O you who believe! save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones; over it are angels stern and strong, they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, and do as they are commanded.” (66:6)

Muslim prom dress?

muslim prom dress

We know Muslim teenagers face immense peer-pressure to follow the crowd and it doesn’t help (girls in particular) when fame-hungry, Muslim YouTubers misguide them with “How to hijabify your prom dress” and “Get ready with me for Prom: turban tutorial”. But parents shouldn’t give in to emotional blackmail that contradicts Islam either. Our kids may not have enough life experience to appreciate the wisdom of ayah:

“But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not.” (2:216)

But we do so it’s our duty to explain why going to a mixed prom is haram. Our kids will plead “It’s just a harmless school party? It’s the last time I will see my classmates. There won’t be any alcohol and the food will be halal.” But that mind-set shows that our kids think Islam is just a bunch of dietary rules? We have to spend time talking about our core beliefs, why we believe in Allah, why the Quran is the word of Allah and the Prophet (saw) life is the example we follow. We don’t want our kids to be like the people mentioned in the ayah:

And leave alone those who take their religion as play and amusement, and are deceived by the life of this world. But remind (them) with it (the Quran) lest a person be given up to destruction for that which he has earned, when he will find for himself no protector or intercessor besides Allah, and even if he offers every ransom, it will not be accepted from him. Such are they who are given up to destruction because of that which they have earned (6:70

Prom Night – Is it really OK for Muslims to go to the Prom?

 

You have to be frank with your child that you know exactly what goes on at proms and the after parties where the alcohol, drugs and god know what else happens. The dilemma you face is, if you let your teenager go to this party, then they will expect to go to the next party and the next party and the even worse party. You’re opening the floodgates and won’t have a leg to stand on. Moreover, it’s vital you practice what you preach so if you are going to mixed weddings and social gatherings then you need to stop too.

When our kids leave high school they are at a crossroads, they are moving from the restrictions of school to the freedom of college. It’s a delicate time, they’re at the cusp of adulthood and to make the right choices they need Islamic guidance. Inshallah, while prom may seem like the be-all, end-all of events for your teen at the moment, you and I know that soon it will become a distant memory….

 

Farhat Amin

Need more advice on how to persuade your kids to not go to the prom? Read this article

 

Daily Duas Sticker Book Review by Muslim Mummy

By | Muslim Children's Books | No Comments

Fozia who has a lovely blog Muslim Mummy was kind enough to take the time to review three of my books: Daily Duas Sticker Book, My A-Z Sticker Book of Islam and Shapes Sticker Activity Book. Read the review here.

My girls love stickers; I think Bee would sticker the whole house if she could. However, I get extremely excited when I find products that have an Islamic theme to them, so I was pleased to be sent some products from The Muslim Sticker Company – 2019 renamed to Farhat Amin – to have a look at.

The girls were sent 3 books to share:

 

My A-Z Sticker Book of Islam

This book has over 80 stickers and isn’t just about stickers. Children can practice writing the letters and can colour in the pictures on each page. However I do feel some of the pictures are slightly complicated for the younger ones to colour, as generally they prefer bigger pictures when colouring.

a is for Allah the one and only God. Allah loves and cares for us the most. He wants us to be the best people. When we are kind and caring to others, we are good muslims. We should praise and thank Allah for everything he has given us.

A simple but affective sticker book to help teach your child about Islam in a fun and engaging way, while also helping teach how to write the English alphabet.

My Daily Dua Sticker Activity Book

This contains 26 everyday daily duas. This is a useful aid in helping young children to learn the most commonly used duas. To make the learning of the duas more exciting, each page has a picture to colour. In addition to this there is often a question or a further activity to do. For example, on the page for the Dua when you enter your house, questions are asked at the end:

What do you have outside your house. Do you have a car? Are there flowers or bushes? Add them to the picture of the house.

The book has over 100 stickers and what I particularly like about it is that there is a Dua Star chart at the end where once you have memorised the dua you can add a sticker next to it to show it has been completed.

What I love about all 3 sticker books is that at the start there are some basic guidelines on how to help your child make the most of the activities and the learning potential. In particular I felt it was important to remind both children and parents the importance of remember Allah in the Daily Duas Sticker book:

And for men and women who engage much in Allah’s remembrance, for them Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.

Surah Al Azhaab: 35

Episode 02: Stop comparing yourself to others

By | Mothers in Islam, Muslim Podcast | No Comments

Episode 02: Stop comparing yourself to others

Part 1: Who is Farhat Amin?

Part 2: Do you compare yourself to other Muslim moms? Does it make you feel happier? Stop comparing yourself to others.

Part 3: Sharing a Hadith that has changed my life, for real!

 

Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

If you took the strengths of others, and compared them to your weaknesses, how do you think you’d size up? And do you think this would make you feel good?

The funny thing is, this is what most of us do at one time or another — and some of us do pretty often.

It’s a sure-fire recipe for a drop in self-confidence and for unhappiness. It’s also not that useful.

Let’s say I take a look at someone who creates amazing food and really top-notch podcasts on their website … and I look at my cooking and video skills, and realize that I don’t come close to measuring up.

But wait a minute: it’s not a fair comparison. Just because I don’t measure up doesn’t mean I should get out of the blogging business, or that I should get depressed or jealous or resentful. Instead, if I looked at my strengths — writing useful and honest posts — I can see that I have a lot to offer, a lot to be happy about.

And that’s so important — being able to look at your own strengths, and see your true value. It’s actually one of the keys to success, because without this ability, you will be unmotivated, and won’t believe in yourself.

The Effects of Social Comparisons

  • Like I said, it’s usually an unfair comparison to start with. As a result, you’ll always come off bad if you look at someone’s strengths (including what they have, like houses and cars) and your weaknesses.
  • Even if you compare strength to strength, there will always be those who are better, and those who are worse. Where you are on the ladder of accomplishments or purchases has nothing to do with what you want to do.
  • Even if you do well in comparison with others, you may be artificially inflated from this comparison. It’s a short-lived boost of ego if you win the comparison — easily knocked down.
  • You end up resenting others for doing well, without really knowing the true person. You can see this if you’ve ever resented someone upon first meeting them, and then later realized you got the wrong idea.
  • You might end up talking about your own accomplishments more than is necessary. No one appreciates that.
  • You might criticize someone in public, trying to knock them down, often unfairly.

These aren’t good things. Let’s look at how to stop this phenomenon.

How to Break the Habit of Comparing Yourself With Others

Awareness

Most often we do these social comparisons without realizing we’re doing it. It’s a natural act, I suppose, and as a result it’s something that is done without consciousness. So the solution is to become conscious — bring these thoughts to the forefront of your consciousness by being on the lookout for them. If you focus on these thoughts for a few days, it gets much easier with practice, and soon it’ll be hard not to notice.

Stop comparing yourself to others

Once you realize you’re doing these comparisons, give yourself a pause. Don’t berate yourself or feel bad — just acknowledge the thought, and gently change focus.

Count your blessings

A better focus is on what you do have, on what you are already blessed with. Count what you have, not what you don’t. Think about how lucky you are to have what you have, to have the people in your life who care about you, to be alive at all.

Focus on your strengths

Instead of looking at your weaknesses, ask yourself what your strengths are. Celebrate them! Be proud of them. Don’t brag, but feel good about them and work on using them to your best advantage.

Be OK with imperfection

No one is perfect — intellectually, we all know that, but emotionally we seem to feel bad when we don’t reach perfection. You aren’t perfect and you never will be. I certainly am not, and I’ve learned to be OK with that. Sure, keep trying to improve, but don’t think you’ll ever be the “perfect person”. If you look at it in a different way, that imperfection is what makes you who you are, you already are perfect.

Don’t knock others down

Sometimes we try to criticize others just to make ourselves look or feel better. Taking someone else down for your benefit is destructive. It forms an enemy when you could be forming a friend. In the end, that hurts you as well. Instead, try to support others in their success — that will lead to more success on your part.

Focus on the journey

Don’t focus on how you rank in comparison to others — life is not a competition. It’s a journey. We are all on a journey, to find something, to become something, to learn, to create. That journey has nothing to do with how well other people are doing, or what they have. It has everything to do with what we want to do, and where we want to go. That’s all you need to worry about.

Learn to love enough

If you always want what others have, you will never have enough. You will always want more. That’s an endless cycle, and it will never lead to happiness. No matter how many clothes you buy, no matter how many houses you own (seven, in the case of one famous candidate), no matter how many fancy cars you acquire … you’ll never have enough. Instead, learn to realize that what you have is already enough. If you have shelter over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, and people who love you, you are blessed. You have enough. Anything you have over and above that — and let’s admit that all of us reading this blog have more than that — is more than enough. Be good with that, and you’ll find contentment.

Article posted on www.zenhabits.net

Episode 01 : The status of Mothers in Islam

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This episode explores the status of mothers in Islam and why modern society under values mums. Listen now to Episode 01 : The status of Mothers in Islam
Here are some of the beautiful ayah and Hadith describing the blessed status of mothers in Islam.

The status of mothers in the Quran

1. “We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents; in pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth” (46:15).
2. Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood’ “(17:23-24).
3. “We have enjoined on man and woman kindness to parents; but if they (either of them) strive (to force) thee to join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not'” (29:8).
4. “We have enjoined on man and woman (to be good) to his/her parents; show gratitude to Me and to thy parents; to Me is (thy final) Goal. If they (parents) strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration) and follow the way of those who turn to Me (in love)” (31:14-15).

Hadith about mothers

1. The Prophet Muhammad said, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him: Your Heaven lies under the feet of your mother (Ahmad, Nasai).
2. A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).
3. Abu Usaid Saidi said: We were once sitting with Rasulullah when a man from the tribe of Salmah came and said to him: O Messenger of Allah! do my parents have rights over me even after they have died? And Rasulullah said: Yes. You must pray to Allah to bless them with His Forgiveness and Mercy, fulfill the promises they made to anyone, and respect their relations and their friends (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah).
4. Abdullah ibn Amr related that the Messenger of Allah said: The major sins are to believe that Allah has partners, to disobey one’s parents, to commit murder, and to bear false witness (Bukhari, Muslim).
5. It is narrated by Asma bint Abu Bakr that during the treaty of Hudaibiyah, her mother, who was then pagan, came to see her from Makkah. Asma informed the Messenger of Allah of her arrival and also that she needed help. He said: Be good to your mother (Bukhari, Muslim).

Welcome to A Muslim Mom Podcast

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Welcome to A Muslim Mom Podcast

It’s been created just for Muslim Mummies. Farhat Amin looks at the messy intersection of life as a Muslim mummy and a Muslim entrepreneur. She explores the humanity that leads us as we grow, and fail, and adapt throughout every new season of being a Muslim Mother. In addition each episode is filled with tangible advice from fellow Muslim mums.

The voices of Muslim women

Often, the voices of Muslim women and Muslim mothers in particular are ignored. Muslim mums are expected to be cooking, be submissive and be quiet.

A Muslim Mom Podcast & blog is about helping Muslim mothers understand their identity through discussion and that it’s OK to be a Muslim Mom. Whether you choose to work, stay at home or a combination of both! It’s about our collective experiences as Muslim mums.

Your host

Hosted by Farhat Amin, a mother, writer, and Muslim businesswoman. You can shop for parenting resources over at www.farhatamin.com. Farhat Amin is passionate about Muslim moms being able to share aspects of their lives with the others. Experiences of, joy love and loss. Experiences that help a fellow mum find comfort and say ‘It’s OK, I don’t need to be a supermum! Inshallah, I just want to be able to be part of the wave that will help to nurture the next generation of happy confident Muslim kids.’

So, to all the hard working Muslim mothers out there trying to figure it out, you’re not alone. Motherhood is a blessing full of challenges and remember our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw) said that ‘Paradise is at the feet of the mother’  (Nasai)

Where can you listen A Muslim Mom podcast?

Oh and there will be book reviews, giveaways, interviews and freebies of course! You can listen to A Muslim Mom podcast here or on Anchor, Apple Podcasts, Breaker, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, Overcast,